we are all wearing masks
by myangelicmercy
Summary: Dean still can't come to terms with losing Castile, but he doesn't want to admit it. Sam is trying to help and cheer him up by dragging him to a Christmas party when Dean meets a stranger with the bluest eyes ever. But the stranger has a secret.


**Author: **angelicmercy

**Title: **WE ARE ALL WEARING MASKS

**Summary: **Dean Winchester still can't come to terms with losing Castile, but he doesn't want to admit it. Sam is trying to help and cheer him up by dragging him to a Christmas party when Dean meets a stranger with the bluest eyes ever. But the stranger has a secret.

**Pairing:** Dean/Castiel

**Warnings: **explicit sex themes

**Word count: **+10,000

**Rating: **NC/17

**A/N: **this was a Christmas present for my dear **caz2y5** her kinks inspired this story and well I hope you all like it.

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><p>The air was a rich mixture of vanilla and cinnamon all wrapped up in a tasty scent of champagne. The giant ballroom was decorated in various overly sparkly snowflakes and silver Christmas trees. Dean didn't really know what he was doing here because it was Sam's stupid idea. His baby brother thought that the whole moping around and not dealing with his problems was just too much to withstand so he dragged him here under the false pretence of going undercover for a hunt. It was just the Winchester way of dealing with things you never talk about.<p>

Dean wore his best suit and even a dark grey tie to go with it when Sam handed him the black mask to go with his suit. It was nice and simple and just had silver streaks over it. Thank god it wasn't some fruity crap Sam would usually go for. Sam had a matching silver one and they were ready to go. Little did Dean know that there was no actual hunt, but a Christmas masquerade ball. To say Dean Winchester was pissed off would be an understatement, but Dean had one weakness and that is his baby brother's puppy eyes of doom and so he found himself standing at the bar and trying to get himself something drinkable.

Everybody was having fun though, laughing and cheerful with bellies full of bubbly champagne and French cupcakes or something else French like. This was one of those parties all the important gang was invited to and if you miss it you're the loser of 2012 year. Clearly it's not something Dean gave a flying fuck about. Dean who wanted nothing but mope in his car about the loss of something he never thought he would loose. That's right. Dean never thought he would actually lose Castiel.

Of course the damn angel got himself killed two times, but he came back in all his glory ready to kick more ass. What was different this time? Why didn't he come back this time? Sure, Castiel fucked up royally this time, but his last words were regret and asking for forgiveness. A promise to Dean that he will indeed redeem himself to him when the Leviathan took over and killed him.

So fuck it. Dean didn't even have the time to give him a chance for that. Now Dean was stuck with nightmares and alcohol. The sole repetition of the year after he came back from Hell, but this time it hurt even more because the wounds went deeper and because Castiel was someone who was suppose to keep coming back from the depths of the death.

Last year he knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel even if he never would have acknowledged it to anyone. With Castiel gone, there was no light left for him. Castiel kept the nightmares at bay and kept challenging him to never fucking quit. Castiel who gave everything for him and someone beside Sam that made Dean want to fight and win. Now that person was gone and Dean was left with the biggest cliché ever because it took him loosing Cas to actually realise that he has fallen for the nerdy dude in the trench coat. It was a true ending of Dean's lame existence in the world of love.

Of course Dean was cursed with having a baby brother who even with his own personal story from Hell, wanted nothing more than to get Dean to finally have some fun. The kid quite smart for not bringing up Castiel, but using the impossible year of just everything getting screwed up again as the major excuse. Even though Sam no doubt knew about the fact that Dean still kept the trenchcoat in the trunk and drank himself to sleep so the nightmares would be kept at bay. Though, recently he stopped because not even drinking was doing the trick anymore. So maybe this was a good idea from Sam's part. Maybe he would get to know some hot chick and get some proper fun. Besides, it was certainly fun to see all these people under masks and such and he could definitely experience that rush of meeting a stranger under a mask.

Sam was off chatting with some blonde girl and it made him smile at just how smooth his brother is. Though, it also meant Dean should get himself back in the game. Sam was right in a way. Dean needed this kind of distraction and they both knew what made Dean tick. That the only reasonable human contact he could have are wild one night stands. The distraction of sex, that sensation in losing yourself in something else was amazing. Of course it was the most dysfunctional way of handling anything. Dean didn't care about it though. It was his way of dealing with rough things and it has been working quite well so far.

Dean's eyes perused the crowd, looking for at least someone who would be interested enough. Not that it was easy with all these masks. This wasn't even the music he liked so it wasn't as if he was in some shady bar waiting for the waitress to get of her shift. Dean sighed as he held his scotch and sipped if slowly, thinking how this will be a really long night.

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><p>Blue eyes were staring back at him when he turned his head toward the crowd and it made Dean shiver. Those were the bluest eyes he has ever seen. No, that was a lie. Dean saw eyes almost as blue as these were, but he was here to forget about them for at least an hour. The stranger caught his eye and looked a bit perplexed at the way Dean was staring at him so Dean just nodded his head politely and looked away. It wasn't rude to him or anything out of the ordinary to stare at pretty people, but this was a man and Dean didn't do men. Dean Winchester was into girls and girls only.<p>

Of course he could argue now that the crush he had on Castiel that turned out to be a real falling in love was with a man, but Castiel was an angel. They didn't have gender and when Dean looked at him he never saw just a man, but someone who always stood by him even when Dean was a big dick to him. Who did everything for him and Sam and Bobby and even though his methods were indeed stupid, Castiel never knew better. He learned how to be a human from a Winchester, you know.

And being a Winchester human meant you do everything in your power to keep your family protected even when it meant making a deal with a demon. Dean had a lot of time to think about it and he realised that somewhere between his rage and a fourth bottle of Jack Daniels, he actually forgave Castiel.

Suddenly Dean had cerulean blue eyes in front of him watching him in wonder. Dean was so lost in his thoughts that he never saw the man approach him.

"Are you alright?" The raspy voice played Dean's nerves like a fiddler would a violin and he could barely focus on the words being spoken.

It would be so easy, just so damn easy to pretend this was him, but Dean knew it wasn't. There was no ozone scent in the air and the space between them wasn't charged with static electricity. This was just a man who made Dean remember just how much he missed Castiel.

"Yeah, man. I'm fine. Just thinking about things." Dean goes for the regular easy going guy who is bored with this high class party.

"I take it this isn't your thing either."The man had perfect white teeth that showed just a little between two puffy lips. "I see you're bored with this posh party as well."

"No, this is definitely not my thing." Dean chuckled and looked at him more carefully.

It was difficult to get a proper face from beneath the mask though the mask itself was quite beautiful. It looked expensive too. Not like Dean's. The cat like eyes and the black shade around them gave this man a sense of greater mystery and Dean liked the effect it had on him. Not to mention just how much the mask put focus on those beautiful lips. Although the last thing on Dean's mind should be using this man to handle his own misery.

"I always say that these things would go better if there is better company to spend them with." The man was smooth and there was a definite sound of an invitation in his voice.

"Oh I see. It does sound like a good plan, but what would you do with a better company?" Dean asked in return, his own voice sounding as inviting as this stranger's. Dean found himself intrigued by this man with dark blue eyes.

This may not be wise or helpful in any way to get over the fact that he lost Castiel, but tonight was about having fun. That's why Sam dragged him to this awful place. Dean could pretend with this stranger who by all means knew what this flirting will lead to. Dean wanted to see how far he can take it and whether he could get something out of it. Besides, it's not like the man is not willing. One look of those cerulean eyes over Dean's body and Dean could see that the man was indeed interested. There was heat in those eyes and this really was easy.

"Perhaps a simple walk away from the high class chatter would be best. For a start that is." The man had the most wicked smile that went straight to Dean's lower regions.

"I like that plan." Dean said with a voice almost dirty rich with possibilities of what they could do when they finally get to be alone.

The stranger smiled at him and nodded taking a glass full of champagne and walking away with a court nod. Dean watched him walk through the crowd and it made him realise he has indeed struck a golden point right now. This was something Dean always wanted to try. Of course it had its dangers, but that is what made this so amazing. Dean waited for a couple of minutes, memorising where the stranger went and then he followed him. Taking his glass of scotch with him and smiling as he followed the trail to the terrace.

Dean gazed around, his eyes scanning the surroundings with hunter accuracy, but he just didn't see the stranger anywhere. Dean looked up at the sky and saw it was a nice snowy night with a full moon. Dean never got to fully appreciate such nights because full moon to him meant a bag full of troubles he just didn't want to open tonight.

This was Dean's night off, but he still had his hunter instincts on full alert so he knew when someone sneaked up on him. He turned around fast, ready to strike when a pair of cold lips pressed against his. Almost a perfect match even as the stranger was few inches shorter than him. Dean saw it was the stranger and relaxed as the man gave him the sweetest and damn shortest kiss ever.

The stranger pulled away and Dean gasped as he kept staring at those lips. Transfixed with the way the stranger licked his lips as if he's trying to catch that elusive taste of Dean and this hunter is hooked. Definitely hooked and wanting this man as his perfect one night stand under the full moon and masks. He wanted this man to turn his misery into at least one night of perfect abandon with a man with blue eyes.

"Mistletoe."The stranger grinned at him and pointed up at the green plant and it really was up there, hovering above their heads.

"Very sneaky." Dean chuckled softly as he looked at the plant and decided that it was a good way to kiss someone and get a good excuse if it doesn't work. "Although you never needed its help."

The stranger's eyes were a darker shade of blue with just the moonlight illuminating them. They were still sparkling with such life Dean has never seen before. Not even in the eyes of the people he met while he stayed with Lisa. This man felt so alive and Dean could only dream of feeling that alive.

"It's good to know that." The stranger nodded and moved closer and Dean wished he got a better taste of the champagne on those beautiful lips. There was definitely still plenty of time to accomplish that mission.

Dean watched the stranger moved closer and leaning in against him. Dean caught a scent of aftershave, earth and something that he couldn't name and could only be the scent that was purely the stranger's. This time it was Dean who took the first step and pressed his lips against puffy ones and licked them. Indeed tasting that sweet champagne and just how soft those lips were. The stranger moved away though and licked his lips again as he gave him a shy smile.

"Perhaps it would be wise to do this somewhere more private." The stranger spoke with a quiver to his voice and Dean nodded almost instantly.

"Just point me where to go." Dean said with a grin and the stranger nodded as he took his hand and tugged him along.

The stranger leading him out into the snowy garden and back into the house just on the back entrance. Pulling him into a little room and he slammed the door closed behind them. Dean heard a soft click sound and damn if that didn't make his blood rush in all directions. The situation was indeed dangerous because this man could be a demon, a warlock and shifter. Pretty much any vicious and scary that could kill Dean, but the hunter didn't even blink.

"I…" the stranger seemed a bit hesitant all of a sudden and Dean just smiled at him as he moved closer to him.

Dean was afraid that he's loosing his chance at this, that the stranger is changing his mind now that they are actually close to doing it. Dean really wasn't one to force people so he simply leaned in and kissed those beautiful lips. Quiet happy to notice that the stranger is indeed relaxing against him and moving his arms around his neck. Dean's own arms wrapped around his waist as he pulled him closer and mewled against his lips.

The stranger didn't seem to hesitate at all anymore. His arms trying to tug Dean closer as their lips attack each other. Dean moaned and gripped hard at those slim hips and pulled the stranger closer. The extra sensation of the danger is what made him feel even hotter as they both planned to kiss each other senseless. The stranger's fingers moved over the back of Dean's neck and he was afraid that he might pull the mask off so he tensed a bit.

"No faces, no names tonight…" The stranger must have sensed Dean's hesitation over it and Dean felt rather vulnerable at being read as an open book.

Dean didn't want to actually say his response to it so he simply kissed him. The kiss intense and heated as the stranger gave as good as he got. Those lush lips were pressing against Dean's in a heated and silky touch and Dean was definitely addicted. Stranger's hands roamed over his chest before they slid around his waits and he pulled him closer as he walked them over to the desk. Dean followed keeping his lisp pressed against the stranger's and chasing that distant taste of the champagne and cinnamon.

"I want you…" The stranger gasped against Dean's lips and bucked his hips against Dean's before he pressed Dean against the table.

Dean gasped and arched against him as he slid his hand lower and wrapped them around Dean's waist as the hunter pressed against the table. He wasn't entirely sure what the stranger was up to, but he liked the idea of doing something wicked with this man with blue eyes.

The stranger moved against him, his shorter body fitting perfectly against Dean's and it was indeed amazing to feel such a thing. To be able to feel somebody as your perfect fit. Dean could bet that Castiel would feel like this. Although Dean really shouldn't think about Castiel in such moments. This was reserved for Dean not thinking at all.

Dean moaned when the man started working on the buttons of his shirt. The stranger's tie coming undone quite fast as Dean's fingers worked on it and threw it away. The man had a beautiful neck that Dean just wanted to nip and suck at. Dean's jacket was pushed off him and he smiled as he saw the way those long fingers worked the buttons of his shirt. Then the stranger's fingers moved lower and he started working on the belt and the zipper of Dean's pants. It was hot enough to distract Dean from trying to get the stranger's shirt off.

Those fingers pressed against his navel as they pulled the undershirt up and revealed smooth skin. The man leaned in and purred against Dean's hip which made him shiver. Dean leaned back against the table when the stranger pulled off his pants and kissed lower over his navel. Dean kept his eyes on the way those delicious lips moved over his skin, burning a hot trail wherever they touched.

Dean moaned loudly and arched against the table when the stranger mouthed at his clothed cock. It was an instant reaction even though Dean has been hard since they got in the room. His erection pulsating as the hot mouth rubbed the cotton over his sensitive skin.

"Oh fuck!" Dean cursed and bit his lip when the hands gripped his boxers and pulled them down. The cold air hit his cock and it made him shiver, but the very next minute he was wrapped in tight warmth.

Dean looked down and tangled his fingers in the silky black strands as the stranger's mouth wrapped around him. The sight was enough to make him come right there, but he kept his control. Dean knew how to pleasure his lover and coming too early was definitely out of question. Fingers pushed through the soft hair when the man looked up and those blue eyes sparked with lust. Dean's heart skipped a beat and he groaned at the way the stranger started sucking around him.

"Oh yes… oh fucking… yes!" Dean was always a vocal in bed, but damn this man really knew how to push his buttons and make him come undone with simple touches.

Strong hands gripped his hips and he started rocking him in and out of his hot mouth. Dean kept moaning and whimpering with each hard suck of that delicious mouth. It was getting too much and Dean could feel the way his insides fluttered. It was almost too much as he fought to not just come.

"Stop it… oh it's too good…" Dean cried out and bit his lower lip almost to the point of breaking the skin.

The man luckily nodded at his request and slid his mouth off him. Dean looked down at the spit slick lips and the way the stranger licked the slickness away like he was truly starving for it. Dean growled loudly and pulled him up. Attacking those lustful lips and moaning against them. The man moved against him and rocked his own hard cock against Dean's hip.

"Oh fuck… You're so gorgeous, so hot. I want to fuck you, bury myself inside you." Dean growled against the man's lips and felt the way his lithe body shivered.

Dean's hands started gripping at the clothes and he pushed the shirt off of the man's body. Dean moaned hotly against his lips as his fingers slid over the taught abdomen and played with his nipples. That earned him a heated moan that fell from the man's lips and Dean drank it in. His fingers moving lower to unzip the pants when the stranger pulled out a bottle of lube and handed it to Dean.

After that it was all a haze. His fingers slick as they pushed in and out of that deliciously tight heat and Dean had to fight for control not to break too soon. Because he couldn't stop imagining how it would feel to bury himself in that delicious heat. The way the man kept squeezing and asking for more. Dean pushed three fingers inside him and the man all but howled. Dean grinned as he sucked on the underside of his teeth and kept spurring him on. The heat of their touches incredible and Dean wanted more. The man's head lolled back down and blue eyes stared at him.

Dean got lost once again in the blue fire and grunted as he pushed his fingers in deeper and the muscles squeezed hard around them. He was teasing and pushing against him as he watched those hips ride his fingers.

"Fuck… so gorgeous… so fucking hot." Dean growled and bit his thigh as the man cried out.

The man kept rocking his hips down against him, fucking himself on those fingers and Dean knew this was the most beautiful thing he ever saw. The lean body and the way those muscles kept twisting as the stranger begged for more.

Then the stranger pushed him away and started growling about how he was ready. Dean grinned up at him and twisted his fingers one last time against that sweet spot and the man cried out.

"Oh fuck!" The man cried out again and Dean pulled his fingers out. Blue eyes glared at him and Dean just pulled him closer.

"Come on, couch is better." Dean moaned against those lustful lips and the stranger went with the flow.

Dean groaned with the way their clothes seemed to just fade away as they stumbled toward the couch and the stranger just pushed him down. Their bodies already slick with perspiration and both of them groaning with each touch. Dean gasped when the stranger climbed into his lap and grunted as he attacked his lips again. His lithe body shaking and rocking against Dean's and the hunter barely had any breath left.

The stranger sure knew his way around this. The way his fingers moved and touched Dean's body like he knew what Dean's hot spots are. It was almost like this stranger knew him inside and out and it scared him for a second. But that was only for a second because the next second he was growling and moaning with each heated rock of those slim hips.

"Fuck yes… don't stop…" Dean moaned and leaned in to bite over the stranger's collarbone as fingers tangledin his hair and kept him close.

The stranger definitely didn't stop his rocking and Dean grinned as he wrapped his hand around that deliciously heated erection. His fingers stroking him slowly as Dean kept watching the way those lips parted with breathy moans and cries of Dean's name.

Dean licked over the collarbone and nipped his way across the shoulder as his free hand tangled in the soft strands of the dark hair. He tugged the man's head back and moaned as he licked his way up over the elegant arch of the neck. Licking and biting as he left small marks that just made the heat burn his insides with more pleasure.

The stranger moved against him and suddenly there was a hot hand wrapped around his hard cock. The sensations exploded all over his skin and he moaned loudly as he bit at his shoulder. The hand stroked him slowly before the stranger raised his hips and managed to roll a condom onto him. It was a good thing he thought of that because Dean was too lost in sensations and such a thing could end pretty badly.

Dean grunted as he bit over the stranger's collarbone, leaving little red marks as he nipped and licked over the soft skin. Damn, this man was so deliciously hot. Dean was known for his love for women and he never really noticed men, well that is until Castiel arrived. Dean realised that the gender didn't really matter. Castiel was the one who taught him that.

Apparently while Dean was thinking about profound bonds, the stranger decided to get on with the sex part. He slowly sank down on Dean's hard cock and the hunter almost cried out at the way that tight heat wrapped around him. It was pulsating and pulling him under the spell and it was getting harder to breathe. Dean moaned and arched against the sofa as the stranger sank down all the way. He moved and rocked against him as he settled and then he tangled his fingers in Dean's hair.

Then they started to rock and Dean knew he wouldn't last long because this was just too good. The intense heat and the pleasure that kept rocking through him with each twist of those hips made him whimper. Dean's hands gripped the slick hips and he started rocking him up and down. The sounds that kept falling from the stranger's soft lips were amazing. Little pants and breathy moans as he arched his head back and Dean just had to lean in to suck on that beautiful neck.

Dean pressed his lips against the pulsating point and pulled him closer. The stranger cried out when the angle changed and Dean knew he hit that spot. The stranger's body was coated in a thin layer of perspiration as he rocked against him. Dean's fingers moved to play up the man's sides when those deft fingers started playing over his nipples. Dean looked up and saw heated dark blue eyes watching him as the stranger rode him hard.

Damn, Dean will fantasise about this long after the stranger is gone. Just the way the man moved against him was sinful and could put all the other girls Dean had so far to shame. For a moment, Dean regretted this being a one time deal with no faces or names, but that was what made the heat burn all that better through him. Dean could pretend like this. He could close his eyes and imagine it's his angel.

"Ah, fuck… oh yes… there… yes!" The man cried out when Dean bucked against him and hit that spot with a hard thrust. Dean growled against him and gripped his hips tighter as he started rocking harder.

The lean hips rocking and rolling as the stranger started riding him harder and faster. Each grunt and pant falling from those lustful lips made its way through Dean's body and straight to his cock.

"oh fuck yes… so good… fuck me harder…" The man demanded more in that rough voice as he rolled his hips and Dean couldn't say no.

Dean gripped those hips harder and started a hard and fast rhythm. Pleasure and heat rushing through him and making him see spots with each hard thrust. The stranger clearly loved it because a string of heavy pants and heated keens fell from those gorgeous lips. His fingers twisting against Dean's nipples before they trailed over to his shoulders to hold on. Dean couldn't take it anymore, the heat was too much and there wasn't any breath left for him.

His fingers moved over the man's navel and he gripped that hard cock. Feeling the way it was pulsating with need and Dean knew he wanted to hear this man cry out with the pleasure they shared. Dean wanted that single moment of beautiful oblivion where he simply was. Where there was no Dean Winchester the righteous man. Where there was just him and the pleasure and everything else just faded away.

The stranger growled against his neck and it only took three strokes of Dean's hand for the man to squeeze hard around him. The climax pulsating through him and coating Dean's hand. Dean watched the way the man came undone and it truly looked amazing. Dean kept panting and keening as the tight heat kept clenching around him. It was the look that the stranger gave him that pushed him over the edge.

"Oh fuck!" It hit him hard and heated. The climax ripping through him like it was a wild hurricane. "Yes!"

The stranger kept rocking and moaning against him and Dean just kept his eyes on him. The delicious sensation of the pleasure surging through him made him smile as he arched against the couch as the heated blue eyes kept watching him. Slow and sensual rolls of the man's hips made Dean moan. And just for a moment it made him forget. The crop of wild black hair and the blue fire in those eyes and Dean was gone.

"Castiel…" Dean's lips whispered the name as the last tremors of his orgasm faded into that blissful state of numbness.

His blood was still singing with joy at how good this made him feel. Tremors rocking through his body when the stranger shifted slightly and Dean raised his head to look at those blue eyes who stared at him with shock. Of course Dean just now realised what he did. Whose name he said to a complete stranger. Dean got ready for the fall out and getting pushed away with disgust when the stranger moved his hand, sliding it slowly over his shoulder as those blue eyes watched him.

Dean gasped when he realised where the hand was moving to, but the stranger was faster and his palm covered the angelic hand print before Dean could slid out of the way. Dean whimpered at the force of the touch and looked down to see a perfect fit of that hand. The stranger's fingers were pressed against the mark and they covered it with eerie accuracy.

"Dean…" Dean's head snapped up at the sound of his name coming from the stranger's lips.

It was more than a perfect fit. It was a perfect match of the voice and the touch. Dean stared when the light started growing from the mark. Dean barely had the time to move when two giant black wings erupted across the room knocking a few items which meant that they were indeed real and not just his vivid imagination. Dean's hand moved out and he tugged the mask away from the stranger's face to be greeted with the face of Jimmy Novak, the angel Castiel's vessel.

This wasn't Jimmy because in any situation Dean knew the difference between Castiel and Jimmy. There just wasn't a possibility where it could trick him. Dean's throat closed up, but his arms were able to move and pull Castiel closer. His angel gasped and suddenly light swallowed them both. Dean felt like he was burning and he screamed loudly before it all ended in a loud explosion.

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><p>Dean jerked awake in his bed and gasped as everything came back to him. The nightmares were awful and he felt tears on his face. Body shaking like it was minus hundred degrees in a too warm room and he tried to grip the sheets and pushed them away. The nightmares were so vivid and he didn't know what was real and what was just his dream. Because he knew where eh went yesterday and what he did, but the stranger wasn't Castiel. That was just his hallucination. That just couldn't be. Dean Winchester may be lucky enough to get second chances, but third and fourth chances aren't something he would be gifted with.<p>

"Dean!" Sam moved toward him and looked down at him with those big mother hen eyes.

"I'm fine. Just a nightmare." Dean pushed him away and got out of the bed. He needed a nice shower and then some breakfast and hopefully something to kill by the end of the day.

"Where did you go last night? You left the party and I found you here sleeping. You could have said something." Sam sounded like a kicked puppy and Dean just sighed knowing his brother thought eh hated the party and that he left because he couldn't take it anymore.

Dean couldn't remember how he ended up here. The last thing he could remember was a pair of black wings and burning light. Castiel's name was on his lips when he woke up, but that wasn't possible, right? Castiel was dead. He has been dead for the past six months. There was no way that of all the strangers on that masquerade ball he found Castiel under the mask of the one he had sex with.

"Dean?" Second question was coated with more worry that just made Sam's eyes turn a bit hard and on edge.

"I'm fine, Sam. I got tired of snobbish people and came home." Dean just said to get Sam off his back and to stop him from worrying.

Dean knew Sam checked for any alcohol and it was clear that Dean wasn't hung over. So for once Sam backed off his case and nodded mumbling something about breakfast before he walked out of the motel room. Dean sighed and nodded as eh walked into the bathroom for a nice shower.

After he finished with that and let the warm water relax him, Dean walked out and into the room looking for his duffle to grab clean clothes. Opening it and putting it on the bed as he pulledouthis clothes. Dean started dressing himself and moved around the room to find his gun and car keys.

Dean looked at the bed before he noticed that there was a feather and the stranger's mask on his bed table. Dean's body went cold as his eyes widened and now he knew it was real. Dean moved slowly over the bed to the bed table and gazed at it. This meant all of it was real. The stranger, the mask, the black wings and the fact that Castiel is back. That Dean and Castiel had hot sex without Dean even knowing he was having sex with his angel.

And wasn't it just ironic that this would happen to Dean? That his angel would come back and Dean would actually be able to push away his insecurities and have sex with him under the took the feather and the mask and placed it in his duffle bag. Wrapping both in his shirt to keep them safe and picking up his phone to call Bobby for help. They have to find Castiel now that Dean knew he was back even if it meant that they will shake both Heaven and Hell alike. There is no stopping Dean this time.

That was almost two weeks ago and there was no still now news of the angel. Bobby used all of his summoning spells and chants and ended up with nothing. Not completely nothing because they did manage to summon a very pissed of pixie instead of Castiel that destroyed the living room and Bobby threatened to shoot Dean with a rifle. It was Dean's fault for doing the summoning ritual too tired to pronounce Latin correctly.

Sam and Bobby were worried and Dean knew that, he could see it in their eyes every time they looked at him. The biggest alarm Sam had was the fact that Dean wasn't eating properly anymore. It was easy to deal with Dean not sleeping because they were all used to working under the stress of long nights, but not eating for Dean was indeed quite alarming.

Dean was on the edge obviously so instead of snapping angrily at Sam and Bobby, Dean just went for a drive. The open road and the old familiar rumble of his baby will calm his nerves and make him less jumpy. Dean may be panicking and trying to find Castiel so desperately that it hurt to breathe, but with each passing day Dean got more hope for it. Because Castiel was out there somewhere, just waiting for Dean to find him and damn it Dean will find him.

The road was empty and dark enough to calm Dean into his regular automatic driving where he only pushed the car into the soft glide over the rough road. It was almost fully instinctual to him. This car was a part of him just like the rest of broken family because this car was his home. Dean gazed at the passenger seat and the mask and the feather that lay there.

There was a flash and Dean felt an itch in his mark. Dean abruptly stopped the car and hissed as his baby made that rumbling sound and raised the dust. There was another flash, this time followed by the thunder. Dean blinked and climbed out the car as he took the mask and the feather with him. There wasn't much to see so deep in the dark, but Dean hoped that the thunder meant what he thought that it meant. That soon he will hear that familiar sound of wings echoing in the darkness.

Dean walked over to the hood of the car and decided to wait. Holding the feather and the mask in his hand and leaning against the car. Castiel was worth the wait just like Dean was to Castiel. The angel even once told him that he was worth all the turmoil he went through. Dean did blame him for leaving after Sam died, but after a while Dean finally understood why Castiel left. The angel once again sacrificed everything he had to let Dean have the peace while he kept the wars in Heaven away from the Earth.

Of course Dean won't forgive Castiel so easily for his lies and the fact that he made a deal with Crowley, but Dean understood it now. There was no blind rage and hurt anymore so they could talk like regular people. Work this one out and finally get to a point where they can function. Although Dean was now afraid of what exactly he wants them to become. They will obviously need to talk about this.

Dean was pretty sure few hours have passed already. The dawn was still away so he had time, but he waited there. The hood of the car was already getting colder as he played with the feather and counted the spots on the mask. Mostly thinking about what happened that night and how he never knew the stranger was actually Castiel. How he even managed to do that? He obviously didn't have any memories left and what they did managed to break the barrier.

"Hello, Dean." A voice sounded behind him and he breathed in before he turned slowly.

Dean smiled as he looked up and saw his angel. Funny thing was that he was just in his suit with his skewed tie and wild hair. The same old scruff on his face as he kept his head tilted at Dean and watched him with those deep blue eyes. Dean slid off the hood of the car and moved closer to Castiel.

"Hello, Cas." Dean greeted him and wasn't exactly sure if Castiel actually remembered what happened between them that night.

Maybe the angels used that whammy on him again and made him forget Dean. It was a big possibility that forgetting Dean was Castiel's punishment. Dean moved closer and extended his arms as he tried to hand him the feather and the mask. Castiel looked down at them and frowned slightly when he saw what Dean was giving him.

"I gave those to you so you would know that I'm coming back." Castiel said in that gravelly voice and Dean could feel his insides quiver slightly at the sound of it.

"What took you so long then?" Dean was upset about the fact that it took so long for Castiel to return.

Castiel looked away at the question, but Dean caught a moment of guilt in Castiel's eyes. Those blue eyes losing their usual spark and Dean really didn't want that to happen.

"I was… I wasn't entirely sure you wanted to see me." Castiel said honestly and that just made Dean shake his head. "I understand that you're upset with me for not answering to your calls, but I felt nervous."

Dean could understand how nervous Castiel felt for doing what he did, but the angel obviously didn't get that Dean has already forgiven him.

"What you did was stupid. Simply going off to heaven to fight a war all by yourself thinking that you need to do it alone. Sure, Sam and I are blind ants comparing to the wrath of heaven, but we're your friends and family." Dean said sternly and Castiel lowered his head and just nodded like an obedient child who knew that he did wrong. "You've put us all in jeopardy with your scheming and eating all that souls to kill Raphael."

Castiel nodded again and refused to look up at Dean, refused to meet his eyes so Dean moved. Standing closer as he bent a little to catch Castiel's eyes so the angel was forced to look at him.

"But most of all, you didn't trust me. After everything we went through, you didn't trust me enough to ask for my help. You actually went to Crowley for help instead of asking me." Dean had to admit that that was the thing that hurt him the most.

"I did trust you. I never even questioned it. And Crowley was a mistake. I tried protecting you and I failed at it. I'm so sorry." Castiel said quickly and Dean just raised his hand and shook his head.

"Castiel, I know." Dean saw the way the angel's eyes widened a bit at the use of his full name. "I understand why you did it. I would be a damn hypocrite if I start hating you for what you did. I sold my soul to a demon to save Sam. How could I hate you for doing the same for me? Of course, don't you dare fucking do it again. Seriously, I'm here for you. I can help. No more fucking demon deals, alright? "

Castiel seemed shocked as he blinked at him. Dean could bet that Castiel never expected this from Dean and that just made him smile a little.

"You've learned how to be a human from us, the broken and ever wrong Winchesters. You've done the same thing I would do if this was my family. I also know one more thing…" Dean spoke softly as he moved closer and for once broke into Castiel's personal space.

The angel didn't budge as those blue eyes watched with him with slight shock. Dean wasn't one for such proclamations and Castiel knew that from before.

"And what is that?" Dean could detect clear hope in Castiel's voice and it was obvious that Castiel truly hoped Dean understood his reasons.

"You love me." Dean spoke in a whisper, afraid that someone will hear it and take it away from him.

Dean lived off of hope that Castiel truly loved him and that that was the reason why he did all that crap. That Dean still has a chance of working something out with Castiel.

"I do. I love you. I just never realised it." Castiel smiled at him and the angel leaned in to kiss him.

Soft lips pressing against Dean's and the hunter closed his eyes as he relaxed into it. The kiss didn't last long and it was no where near as hot, but a sweet and soft pleasure.

"Well I kind of like you too, Cas." Dean smiled against Castiel's lips as he said it and suddenly he felt lighter for doing it. Although it still wasn't the proclamation of love that Castiel would no doubt want to hear.

Castiel simply smiled at him and leaned in to kiss Dean again. It felt like he understood what Dean really meant and that he would wait for him to say the real thing. Dean gasped and relaxed against him, feeling safe and happy with Castiel in his arms. Castiel tangled those elegant fingers in Dean's hair and keeping him pressed close. The air went out of Dean's lungs and the only thing he was left to breathe is Castiel. That familiar smell of ozone and holy oils and something so deeply Castiel that it made his body shiver.

Dean smiled into the kiss as he turned them around and pressed Castiel against the hood of the car. The angel gasped against his lips and for a moment, Dean was afraid that perhaps this wasn't the same Castiel that was a stranger under a mask a few nights ago. Dean licked his luscious lips and wondered how damn stupid he was that night not to recognise whose lips these were.

"I missed you so much, Dean." Castiel said softly and Dean smiled at him as he stroked his fingers over that ever lasting stubble on Castiel's jaw.

"How did you even manage to find me in that ballroom? I can understand how Heaven wiped your memory away, but for you to find me there? Those are some big odds."

Dean was trying to wrap his mind around it for so long. How did Castiel actually even managed to find him?

"It was God. He brought me back, again. It was just a matter of me finding you. Some sort of a test and I passed it. And when I touched my mark, it all came back to me." Castiel smiled and looked at Dean's shoulder, no doubt itching to touch the mark again. "As for the sex part… well I sort of wanted it for quite some time and when I saw the stranger with hazel eyes and a wicked grin, I just couldn't resist."

There was a blush on Castiel's cheeks and Dean leaned in to kiss it. Damn this pretty boy angel and his ability to turn Dean into a romantic sap. Although with how long he waited for his angel to come back to him and how long it took him to finally have him in his arms, it was definitely worth it to turn into a romantic sap.

"Good to know you don't just loose your virginity to random masked strangers." Dean grinned as he joked although he was surprised just how deep their connection went. Castiel chuckled as well and poked at his shoulder.

"I don't. Somehow I knew it was you. I can't explain, but you just drew me in. It must be the bond." Castiel leaned in and nuzzled against Dean's cheek and Dean's eyes fluttered closed.

"The profound one huh? The one you made when you pulled me out of Hell?" Dean was pretty sure that there was so much more to that mark.

"Yes Dean, the profound one." Castiel smiled at him and leaned in to nuzzle against Dean's lips.

The hunter shivered against him as Castiel's lips pressed against him and the angel kissed him. It was soft and gentle before it turned heated and passionate. Castiel's body pressed against him and pushed him against the hood of the car. Dean grinned into the kiss and arched against the hood. Dean's hands gripped his shoulders and pulled his angel closer.

"Oh Cas. I want you. I've missed you so much." Dean whimpered against Castiel's lips when the angel gripped his hips and pulled him up. Dean chuckled slightly as Castiel pressed him against the hood of the car and climbed up on it with him.

Dean arched against the hood and smiled at how warm his baby is. That combined with the pure heat that is Castiel's presence and body and Dean was a lost man. Fingers tugged on Dean's shirt and the hunted just grunted at Castiel.

"This is the time where you should use your mojo, Cas. I want you naked fast!" Alright, so Dean was an impatient man, but this wasn't the time for waiting. Dean missed his angel for way too long and the knowledge of how good sex can be with Castiel just made him all that more impatient.

"My mojo?" Castiel was teasing him and Dean knew that. He rolled his hips and wrapped her legs around Castiel's slim waist and arched again.

It was a clear message to Castiel because the next moment they were both naked. ExceptCastiel had Dean's necklace around his neck.

"You've kept it?" Dean asked, moving his fingers to touch the amulet. The metal warm from the heat of Castiel's body and Dean feels like he can't breathe.

"It took me some time to realise where my home is. I also realised where I belong." Castiel said softly and Dean could feel the way his heart decided to hammer its way out of his chest.

"Welcome home, Cas." Dean smiled at his angel, his face hurting from just how wide his smile was.

"It's good to be home, Dean." Castiel spoke softly and kissed him again. "Now if you don't mind, I would very much like for you to make love to me."

Dean gasped at the words and raised his head to look up at Castiel's eyes. His fingers still played with the amulet and Dean contemplated what he truly wanted.

"No." Dean said and noticed that it made Castiel move back a bit, though the angel stayed near him. "I want you to make love to me."

The head tilt was adorable, especially the way his nose wrinkled up a bit in confusion. Thankfully, angels were intelligent, Castiel considerably more than an average angel so he got on with the program fast. He just smiled at Dean and started kissing lower down his body. Those beautiful lips that moved over his skin were in contrast with the harshness of the stubble.

"Cas… mmm…" Dean moaned and tangled his fingers in his angel's hair when those lips wrapped around the slick head of his erection.

It didn't last long because Castiel was already moving lower and Dean couldn't stop shivering. Strong hand gripped his legs and pulled them up and suddenly Dean felt incredibly vulnerable. Completely revealed and just too vulnerable. Somehow Castiel felt it, the way Dean's body tensed and his cheeks flared with rosy blush. The angel moved against him and started kissing over the inside of his thigh. Raining down sweet kisses that were a mixture of softness and rough burn of the stubble. Dean started to relax and moan softly as Castiel nuzzled against his skin with his blue eyes on him all the time.

Then it hit him. This angel saw him at his worst. Covered in the blood and sulphur of Hell and he still raised him from the pit. This angel still fought the demon horde and stayed with him. He went against his own nature and gave his loyalty to Dean instead of the corrupted heaven and fought for all those innocent souls that Dean keeps on trying to save. He accepted Sam with his demon blood heritage and called him a fried. He accepted Bobby with his grumpiness and did his best to help him even when he was without his powers.

Dean never had such a person who gave everything they had for him and then some. He never had anyone to make such a sacrifice for him and it made him gasp. His heart hammering in his chest as the realisation hit him and he could feel hot tears prickling his eyes.

"Dean…" Castiel spoke slowly as he leaned back against him and started to kiss the tears falling down Dean's cheeks. "What's wrong?"

The softness of the touch made Dean's close his eyes and whimper slightly. The pure adoration this angel had for him made his heart skip a beat. Who was Dean to deserve such adoration from something so pure? It made him gasp again as more tears rolled down and he realised that he officially cried during sex. But he couldn't help himself. He was broken and twisted and his soul was dark and he doesn't deserve to have the love of an angel.

"Oh Dean stop it!" Castiel's rough voice filtered through the haze. "You are not twisted or dark. You are worthy of love. Good things do happen to good people and you are the best of them all. You may be broken and scarred, but I love you for it. I love how even at your worst, you still seem to shine with warmth and good. How you are still brave when you're afraid. You are an amazing man, Dean Winchester and I will dedicate my existence to show you just how amazing you are."

Castiel spoke sternly and kept his blue eyes that burned with incredible fire on him. This angel was truly amazing and Dean will never stop thinking how he doesn't deserve him.

"Castiel…" Dean whispered as the tears stopped falling and he smiled. "I love you."

His mother was the last person he told those words too and he knew that it was the truth when he spoke them to Castiel. The angel didn't even look surprised and that made Dean smile. Castiel was such a perfect fit for him and his life that it should be scary to Dean, but somehow it isn't.

"I knew that Dean. That's why it hurt me so much to go behind your back." Castiel whispered softly against his lips. The sorrow in the angel's eyes was ready to break Dean's heart so he simply pulled Castiel closer and kissed him passionately.

Seconds ticked away as they kissed and explored each other on the hood of the car beneath the starry sky. Dean moaned and gasped with each exploratory touch Castiel pressed into his skin and it made him feel giddy as well as incredibly turned on. Castiel may be a virginal angel, but he sure as hell knew what he was doing now.

Their mouth kept connecting as their bodies slid against each, creating delicious friction before Castiel moved lower again. Dean moaned loudly into the night at the first touch of Castiel's tongue against his puckered hole. It was incredible. Dean lost himself in the delicious sensations of tongue pressing inside him followed by those elegant fingers. Castiel touched something inside him that made him cry out and dug at the hood as he arched against it.

It felt like they were doing this for ours. Dean lost count of how many times he cried out Castiel's name while tugging on his hair to push himself close. Dean could only imagine how he looked. Stretched out on the hood of his car as his skin became slick with perspiration from the way he kept rocking himself against those fingers. It was almost like reckless abandon, but he knew they were going for more.

"Cas… oh fuck me Cas! Come on. I'm ready." The desperation in his voice would make him cringe, but not tonight and not with the way Castiel kept looking up at him.

"mmm Dean… yes." Castiel crawled up on the hood along with Dean and guided himself inside.

Everything was slick and hot and Dean couldn't even feel the pain of that first push inside of him. His muscles pulsated and squeezed at Castiel and Dean just wanted more. His hands kept moving against Castiel's back as he tried to get him closer and spread himself wider. His legs wrapped around Castiel's waist as he pushed the angel deeper and cried out.

The angel obviously knew they were both too heated to take this slow and gentle. The angel buried his face in Dean's neck and kept sucking on the delicate skin as he rocked hard and fast against him. Castiel is almost quiet beside the wild panting and the wild hammer of his heart and that worried Dean a little bit. The hunter gripped Castiel's shoulders and raked his nails down his back. Watching the way Castiel arched against him when he squeezed his muscles around that hard cock thrusting inside of him.

"Come on, Cas. I want to hear you. Tell me how much you want me." Dean spurred him on and dug his heels into Castiel's taut ass. Pushing him in deeper and harder as he kept moaning.

It was probably the only incentive the angel needed because the next second he went wild. Crying out loudly as he started rocking harder into Dean. Changing the angle and pushing right into that spot while his handsgripped Dean's hips. There will be no doubt finger shaped bruises in the morning, but Dean didn't care. The angel went wild and Dean could feel the way he is pushed against the hood of his car. His body sliding up and down as Castiel kept hitting that spot and making Dean cry out.

The raw power of Castiel's body rose heat inside of Dean's body and made him see sparks. It was obvious he won't last long with the way Castiel kept grunting and growling against his lips. Dean's hands moved and gripped Castiel's shoulder blades, digging his nails and pulling him closer.

"Dean… mine… oh fuck…" Castiel became vocal and Dean tilted his head back as the angel nuzzled against his neck and bit his hard.

The rhythm got lost somehow and Castiel bucked hard against him and Dean saw spots. Body shook and twisted as he tried to hold on in the wild storm when it broke out of him. The climax hit him on surprise as he screamed and arched against Castiel. Dean's eyes opened as they watched Castiel and not even a second later, Castiel followed him. He came hard inside him as blue eyes flashed with a soft light and Dean could swear the ground shook beneath him. Once again he saw a flash of dark wings explode behind Castiel, but it was barely a moment.

Dean lay there as Castiel panted and whimpered against him and he wrapped his arms around the shaking body. The angel was lost in the pleasure, but he still managed to kiss him and smile against his lips. The kiss was hard and passionate and completely uncoordinated. In one word it was perfect. Just the way the sex was perfect and his lover was perfect.

"Ah Dean…" Castiel whispered against his lips and Dean smiled up at him.

"You sure know how to make me feel special." Dean chuckled and looked up at Castiel who just tilted his head at him. "The ground shook when you came. I know I'm good, but this good… oh yes!"

Castiel smiled at him and shook his head at Dean's antics. Dean just grinned at him again and licked Castiel's soft lips.

"I bet I can make the ground shake again." Dean wiggled his eyebrows and grinned at him.

"I will take that bet." Castiel grinned back at him and slid his fingers over Dean's sides.

Dean smiled and him and then laughed with how happy he was. Everything was finally in place even though the world was still broken. They weren't broken anymore and Dean knew that with Castiel at his side, he will be able to get it through.

"Merry Christmas Dean." Castiel spoke softly against Dean's cheek and the hunter looked up at him in confusion. "It's past midnight. It's officially Christmas."

"Oh merry Christmas Cas." Dean smiled and kissed his angel as strong arms wrapped around him.

It was the best Christmas Dean ever had. That is until the next Christmas when he found Castiel naked under the Christmas tree with just a red bow around his happy parts, but that's a story for another time.

**The End**


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